Wednesday, 6 January 2016


Yesterday was quite a day for me. Plus, recently (few days up to few weeks back) my friends been asking me why am I avoiding them, pushing them away. Worse, they asked if I actually want to cut off our friendship.

Of all friends, I have this one friend. We have been such a good mate ever since I was 13, or probably 14.

Lee by what I call him. Harif is how he mostly known as.

This is how we started being friends.

He used to call me by my first name. Which solely for formal purposes.

"Salam. (My first name), What is your problem actually?"

Well I was doing a little writing when he asked.

Personally, I am already so busy managing life. Problems here and there. (Note: I used to share everything with Lee, but recently I can't even tell myself to do stuff, let alone telling people about what am I up to.)

So in brief, I asked another close friend of mine.

Me: Am I actually pushing people away?
Friend: What do you think?
Me: I think I need an answer.
Friend: Go figure.

How helpful.

So this was what happened next.

I spent few minutes with Lee, updating him about what happened to me. From typical health problem to some kind of past event that I still hold back. Firm and tight.

"I don't know, I think (put that person's name) really gave a massive bad impact on my life."

It took awhile for Lee to reply.

Then he gave me such a long reply where in it, he said,

"Who cares about (put that person's name), the impact will make you bounce higher than before. We can make it from bad to good insyaAllah."

He made me ponder for the whole night, until today.

His point is clear. That person really did make a change in my life. A real big change. I can't deny, I began writing because I was despondent, I was heartbroken, I was tired, I was crestfallen, I was grief-stricken, I was about to give up surviving. I was about to commit suicide.

Lee was there, Lee supported me all the way long. Lee still is. Always here, being a supportive friend, a good brother and a very humble homie.

Seeing my life now, achieving what I've achieved, I know, the only thing we need to do is to embark the journey.

And to all my friends, I'm sorry for abandoning the friendship. I myself is having quite a hard time. Yet that doesn't mean I'm ditching the friendship.

I just need a space of my own.

Don't worry about getting a reply, insyaAllah I can still reply to your messages. It's just, I probably got no time to hang around, talk about some random stuff, yet if you need somebody to talk to, hit me up. I probably give a late response or something, but a reply still a reply, kan?

P/s: Pardon my grammar, I am in no mood of checking, let alone correcting.


burtuqaly said...

uittt, pekabaaarrrrr? :) kirim salam bro nih kalau contact dia lagi. haha.

Mato. said...

Yo salaam. Contact je lagi.

Anonymous said...

Mat skateboard start guna tahun berapa?

Anonymous said...

I've been a fan of your writing since Form 4, still am. Your stories are indubitably inspiring. Continue to spread the love, mato ! :)


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