It’s been a very, very long while since I last let you read all my ramblings, and probably my miseries too.
First off, if you’re still reading this. I just want to wish you a happy new year. I hope the odd is on our side this time. Honestly I don’t know why I am still writing. I kinda feel detached from so many things since I started adulting. Studying, working and everything took too much of my time. I missed the feelings where I know what to say, now I’m just at lost. I don’t even know where to begin.
One thing that I do know is that I missed being here, as budak tomato once more. Although it’s gonna be suuuper funny because I am already a matured adult. I began writing when I was in school, carried on to my higher education and suddenly somewhere in 2015 became the day I stopped writing. Suddenly it all came to me that what’s next?
What do I gain and where should I go from now onwards?
Sometimes I do feel like just disappear from here and be merry with the life I have built. The spark I once had is long gone.
But truth is, I owe you guys a lot. You were here with me during my darkest phase, you were here during my childish phase, you were here when I thought I found my loved one, and again you were here to witness my heartbreak. Time passes, I lost so many friends along the way. I stopped being excited over things. I became goal driven and I only want to achieve what I want to achieve.
Deep down, there are way too many plans I had. But I am so occupied with life, and how busy life took me. Some said, if you truly love someone, you will definitely make time for them. I guess I am a bad lover then, because I can barely make time for myself, let alone for you.
Well maybe I can make this just like my small diary where I share things, like how I did before. Maybe that way, you will know that I am still here, just a click away from you.
Oh yes about Lacuna. It means an unfilled space or a gap, or a missing portion in a book or manuscript. Perhaps, being here with you fills up my lacuna. Hehe. Anyway, guess it’s time to sign off. I still have plenty to do right now.
And if you’re reading this, just so you know I was supposed to post a new year video wish on Instagram but well, life caught me up. I owe you one (wink, wink).
Love,
Mato.
To let you know, there's still someone who want to read your posts. Hope everything's good for you Mato :)
ReplyDelete2015... good ol' days
ReplyDeletehappy new year mato
Deletehappy new year mato, stay safe ✨
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ReplyDeleteHappy New Year, Mato! Kalau rasa nak publish another books publish je. Kami sedia membacanya hehe ^^
ReplyDeletewe miss you mato. thanks for the writing, thanks for being here again.
ReplyDeletei just love your writing, Mato. Kind of hoping i found you sooner, but I'm still here, with other readers, filling your lacuna <3
ReplyDeletehappy new year mato (wink,wink)
ReplyDeleteHappy new year, Mato. May this year bring us more happiness
ReplyDeleteI found your blog in 2014 never thought that I'm gonna stick here for a long time but I glad I did. May this year brings happiness to all of us ^_^
ReplyDeletehappy new year mato!
ReplyDeleteHappy new year mato. It feels good reading your post again �� thank you for takin the time for us
ReplyDeleteWas super excited seeing you post again. Hope everything fine there and thank you for coming back and writing again :) even though we dont know each other in real life but knowing you as budak tomato since my high school years (2013) and still follow you up until know, all I can say, I am proud seeing you as who you are today. You may not be as active as before but i dont know, you just have a soft spot in my heart and I just hope you be surrounded by good and only good things in your life.
ReplyDeletejust to let know, sometimes, your writing speak some people's thought. And for writing that, thank you, atleast i don't feel alone.
ReplyDeletehappy new year!!! may allah bless all of us this year!!!
ReplyDeleteHappy new year mato...spreading matonism...
ReplyDeleteBetul, semua dah besar sekarang..read ur blog, ask.fm, Twitter tumblr etc dulu bole, sekarang dah buzy dgn adult life.. since 2012 until now.. all the best mato.
thank you for the comeback!! been missing to read you wise words.. hehehe BTW Happy New Year to you too!
ReplyDeleteHey you!! Happy New Year!!!
ReplyDeleteBeing adult is very tired right. Haha
Good luck Mato��
Happy new year too mato. May this year will be better than last year
ReplyDeleteLove to read ur writing at this blog,miss ur writing so much as a writer budak tomato, nahhh i feel old already hahaha
ReplyDeleteHappy new year mato. Semoga mato sentiasa sihat. Wish you all the best! May Allah bless us and bring more happiness this year. Fi hifzillah
ReplyDeleteI truly understand u right now mato! we are in the same phase, is this adjusting? Haha Where all of our spirits have been taken :/, take your time bro we are here! keep supporting! Go abe mato!!
ReplyDeleteAdulting*
DeleteCan wait to read your new book.
ReplyDeleteCant wait to slide into your dm 💃🏼
selamat tahun baru Mato! semoga dipermudahkan segala urusan harian dan dikurniakan kekuatan selalu!
ReplyDeleteyahh it's already 2022 & we still here read ur thoughts & supporting u ❤️
ReplyDeletei almost cry and remember the old day huaaa
ReplyDeleteAda lagi rupanya mato...lama tak baca entry
ReplyDeleteHey Mato. We are on the same boat, maybe different cabin (?) Where do you live currently? Nak ikut boleh tak? I need to mend my heart as well. I'm too tired of handling everything on my own now. Can we just be neighbours and at times when we need someone to talk to, we'll just knock on each others' door and bring along our desserts to have with our teas or coffees?
ReplyDeleteAfter 10 years, today i read your blog again. Didnt realised your blog still in my bookmarks list huhu. Still remember those days when i was in secondary school, reading your blog, followed on twitter, being a fan, even bought your book when i was in uni 5 years ago i think.
ReplyDeleteTake care Mato!
tumpang tinggal jejak sikit.... hehe..jom jenguk sini pulak.. hehe
ReplyDeleteI do open your page everytime I logged in mato. Sometimes adulthood changes us. Stay safe :)
ReplyDeletesebetulnya memang rindu zaman dulu2. tapi kenyataan hidup memang pahit, sejak masuk fasa dewasa semua mula menghilang termasuklah perasaan sendiri. i do feel lost too. terima kasih mato kerana pernah ada dan pernah menghiburkan hati ini. sejak baca blog mato rasa sikit2 Allah ubah diri ini. terima kasih mato atas semuanya.
ReplyDeleteAdios,
Budak Tomato.
Still looking forward for your entry mato.
ReplyDelete